Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Story of "FRED" the Stinky Moose

A couple of weeks ago I posted ( about a "Stinky" Moose named Fred. Little did I know it would create such a stir and wave of Emails wanting to know more about this ruminant mammal (Alces alces) with humped shoulders, long legs, and broadly palmated antlers that is the largest existing member of the deer family and inhabits forested areas of Canada, the northern U.S., Europe, and Asia.

Well, once upon a time a mild and low-keyed type some what middle aged man went to open his mailbox. As he approached his mail box there was a "stinky" odor.

Out popped a Moose! Not an ordinary Moose but a Moose with a tag that said his name was Fred and he needs a good basketball stinky gym bag to call his home and his favorite drink is juice. Fred had some other problems but that will be told at a later date in song.

The meek man thought that Fred might be a good friend for his two "Stinky" Westies named Angie and Maggie May. However, Fred seemed to like an old "Stinky" Basketball the best.

There was one more problem and that was Maggie May wanted to tear Fred's head off. Rather than get upset the calm and collected man thought Fred must be a friend of the Angels and would like a home in a landscape design.

While Fred liked the smell of fertilizer and bird droppings he felt uncomfortable sitting between two angels. Fred wanted out of this place and was sick and tired of the man telling him to stay out from behind the Family Room Bar where he liked to drink his screwdrivers with straight juice.

Fred took drastic actions, he first climbed the Basket Ball Hoop Pole and looked for a better place to live.

He spotted a house far way so Fred got into the SUV, waved good riddins to the mongrels, gave them the rasberries, a stink bomb fart and drove away.

Fred was so happy to be leaving the sub-division. He wanted adventure, he wanted to have fun, he wanted a "Stinky" new home. He wanted Juice, He was "Born to be Wild."

Fred drove around until his keen sense of smell drove him in front of a school, he parked the car and ran toward the school and jumped up to a window and looked in the gym.

He saw a man and a woman yelling out commands and a bunch of girls running and jumping and they had Basketballs and bunches of "stinky" gym bags!!! He even could smell the sweet aroma of the trashcans and he listened to the sounds of little black bugs swarming over the bleachers.

In order to make himself more presentable and adorable Fred danced back to the SUV, grabbed his bag, drenched his hair in his favorite prune juice and jumped into what he hoped was a truck that one of the girl's drove and that she would adopt him and bring him to games in a smelly gym bag where he could call home.

When Fred heard the door open the lady screamed and said What Smells? The lady was startled and Fred asked her to not be afraid. They talked for awhile and the nice lady said 'I will take you home with me, I have a daughter that will take care of you, and she plays basketball and she has a Stinky gym bag. "

You will have a nice home in her "Stinky" gym bag and you will even get to ride on a smelly diesel smoke infested Bus.

Fred was so happy he had found a new home... He loved all the girls and the coaches too! He can't wait to go on the road games on the bus and sing his favorite victory song.

Fred the Moose Song
There was a great big moose (There was a great big moose)
Who liked to drink a lot of juice (Who liked to drink a lot of juice)
There was a crazy moose (There was a crazy moose)
Who liked to drink a lot of juice (Who liked to drink a lot of juice)

Singing oh way oh (Singing oh way-oh!)
Way oh, way oh, way oh, way oh (Way oh, way oh, way oh, way oh)
Way oh, way oh (Way oh, way oh)
Way oh, way oh, way oh, way oh (Way oh, way oh, way oh, way oh)

2. The moose's name was Fred...... he liked to drink his juice in bed
3. He drank his juice with care......but he spilled it in his hair
4. He' just a stinky moose...'cause he's all covered in juice!

Best of all Fred will be held and loved by BM!


Anonymous said...

this is another version of a moose song; its called : there was a moose

There was a moose ( repeat)
who liked to drink alot of juice (repeat ect)
oh there was a moose who liked to drink alot of juice.

CHOURSE: I said way oh way oh (repeat
whay oh whay oh whay oh whay oh
whay oh whay oh
whay oh whay oh whay oh way oh

the mooses name was fred... he liked to drink his juice in bed

he drank his juice with glee but he spilt it on his knee

he drank his juice with care
but he got it in his hair

his wifes name was tess
she had to clean up all the mess

she cleaned up all the juice
and said your a silly moose


qualityg says said...

Thnks for sharing. Suprisingly this post receives at least 3 hits a day from around the world.

Fred Rules!

Anonymous said...

My daughter just taught me this song which she learned at summer camp, only in her version Fred isa STICKY moose. This does seem to make more sense.

Anonymous said...

We also sing "sticky" moose, hadn't heard the "wife" verses, and we sing it with a different last verse:

Now there's a moose,
on the loooooooooooose!

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